The Redneck Mobile (that’s pronounced Mow-beel) AKA the Pick-Up

I was looking around the net for a suitable topic to comment on for the blog… but nothing was hitting me… until I looked at one of the ads in my own blog…. There it was… an ad for a Chevy Silverado… yep now that’s an ad for a Pearl Twirler if I ever saw one… yessiree… I need to go out and get me one ASAP.

The ad brags about the Silverado’s 21 MPG Highway… better fuel economy than the Dodge Ram…. Small print points out … the Silverado’s 21 MPG Highway/ 15 MPG city and compares it to the Dodge Ram’s 20 MPG Highway/ 14 MPG city…. Woo Hooo…. Be still my heart… Now that’s fuel economy for you… now why in the dickens would I be interested in a Silverado???...never mind I am a 5 foot 3 and ¾ tall woman who can barely see over the hood of a Dodge Ram (Warren has one… did you expect anything less from a Georgia Redneck??)… I drive a Hyundai Elantra… I regularly get 33 miles to the gallon and on our last long trip to NY we averaged close to 40…. So am I impressed with 15 MPG city???? … notta chance.

As any honest Redneck will tell you… when buying a Redneck mobile … MPG is the furthest from their minds…. Whether they can peel out and do zero to 60 in 1.2 seconds is more what they are interested in….along with truck colors (cannot be a “wimpy color”)… sliding rear windows (so fishin’ poles can fit through them)…and gun racks (needs no further explanation).

You may ask how do I know this… well… with all the high gas prices this past summer… trucks were on sale everywhere… (BIG surprise…crappy MPGs and high gas prices…duh)…so of course we went truck hunting… I silently watched as my Georgia Redneck hemmed and hawed over each potential truck… he didn’t end up replacing his 2005 Dodge Ram Quad Cab… oh I almost forgot … Hemi… I have no idea what that all meant… I just know it matters.

I also know it sits so high up.. he put a running board on it for me to get in and out … watching him park that damn thing is like watching someone dock the Queen Mary… but hey…it’s a guy thing…. I know.

Living in the south has taught me that there’s a very special relationship between a Southern man and his vehicle (pronounced vee-hick-le)… it’s his Manly Man thing…it’s a whole different world down here… there’s a pick-up truck for every household… they take up extra spaces in the parking lots… lest your little car get too close to their macho machines…and just forget ever thinking you still have a right to the left lane…nope… no sireee… that’s only for “real” vehicles… like theirs…they pull to forward so far that if you’re trying to make a right… forget trying to see traffic… they are effectively a brick wall…and another thing about the south…. plenty of women drive them down here too… and not those small cute Toyota ones either… they drive the Silverados and the Rams and the Ford F whatevers…

So I hope all you readers out there click on that Silverado ad so you can find the nearest dealer to run out buy your next vee-hick-le… this Yankee Girlie Girl is fine with her little Hyundai.